This Belongs to: Marik Ishtar
by lilmarik
Summary: Chapter 6 is finally UP! 12 year old Marik (Malik) Ishtar's diary. Lots of Humor. Mild language used. Please read and comment!
1. Birthday Present

**This Belongs to: Marik Ishtar**

**December 23**

It's my birthday, and _what_ did Ishizu give me? Not a camel, not sandals, not even a _water canteen_. No, she had to go and buy me a stupid diary. I'm supposed to " keep all my secrets and feelings locked within these secret chambers." Oh right, and wait for her to come in and read it all? Give me a break! Well Ishizu, if you're reading this, you can just go and kiss my *** cause I'm not gonna tell you ANYTHING! Got that?!

**December 24**

Well, whadya know? It's 1 day after my birthday, and I caught Ishizu reading my diary. Ishizu is gonna pay…I already went and fed her goldfish to Mindslave. Mindslave's such a smart little kitty. He knows how to go and hide the "evidence" after he's done with it. I think I'll go and reward him with Mr. Tweets. Say goodbye to your canary, Ishizu… *evil laugh*

**December 25 **

Ishizu's such a stupid jerk. She caught me feeding Mr. Tweets to Mindslave and tattled on me. What a baby! Now as for punishment, I have to go and take out he trash. What humiliation! Why, that's _slave's_ work! Odion's no help either. He said that it was "all for my own good." What does he know about my good?! Now my hands are so smelly. One of the bags exploded and something green oozed out. Seriously, what WAS that? Actually, I don't want to know. I just had dinner. Dinner was great. Whenever dad turned his back, I went and smooshed some of my mashed potatoes into her fat face. Dad wouldn't believe her when she, yet again, tattled on me. He thought that she had on some sort of face moisturizer. Serves her right. Ishizu is such a loser! She'll never notice that frog in her bed…

**~Later~**

She noticed. I got the most uncomfortable wedgie in the world, but it was worth it! Ishizu screamed so loud that the neighbors actually went and threw a bookend at her window. Now she has to go and pay for it out of her allowance (dunno why, but who cares?). Haha. More good news. Odion got me a heavy-duty lock for Christmas. Maybe he caught Ishizu reading my diary again… Anyways, I've attached it onto this diary and…

Sorry bout that. Ishizu was peeking over my shoulder. When will she learn that it's useless? I've pulled her hair, hard, for that. Now she's crying. I'm taking back that bead necklace I gave her. I don't get why she's so fond of those things Oh well. Idiots are so unpredictable.


	2. New Neighbors for lack of better words

**December 26**

I tripped over one of Ishizu's perfume bottles today and scraped my knee. Such agony! The pain was unbearable. I seemed to have gone temporarily insane, or something, because everything became so fuzzy and blurry, and my face felt real stretchy. Must have been the beans. Next thing I knew, I found myself holding a butterknife, entering Ishizu's room. What was I thinking?! I've gone and punished myself by cleaning my room. I mean, Ishizu is bad, but not _that_ bad. She did go and have a cuss fight with that boy who pushed my into a mud puddle. But then again, that as only because some of the mud splattered onto her new dress… Anyways, she's my sister and it's my duty to make sure that she doesn't die a premature death due to a dull butterknife…

**December 27**

New neighbors moved in today. They say they're from America. Lousy tourists. (I'm not a racist. Besides, _I'm_ from America too.) There's a girl bout my age. She keeps saying how girly I look in a dress. Well I'll show her… Besides, these dresses are a part of a very ancient tradition! Odion told me that plain white dresses were real trendy and fashionable this year. Miserable liar. Now I feel so lame and out-of-style. Found out the girl's name is Susie. She wears the most ridiculous pigtails. She keeps taking pictures of us. I would have enjoyed that if she didn't keep saying, " The wildlife around here is amazing!" I think I'll forgive Ishizu for the perfume bottle incident if she's willing to team up with me and booby trap Susie's home. I'm sure she'll agree. Susie kept saying how Ishizu's hairstyle was so 60's. Big mistake. Ishizu's real vain. She'll take that seriously…catfight! Mreow! Heh heh, females are so silly…

**December 28**

Yay! Ishizu agreed! I'll say, we make a great team. We started out with the ceremonial toilet papering of their house. Then we egged it. Mom would have called it a waste of food. Oh well. They came back SHOCKED. It was so funny. Almost burst out laughing. Got a painful jab from Ishizu in my sides. Her face was purple. It was when they stepped on the dirty diapers on their doormat, that I exploded. Couldn't hold it in anymore. Their stupid shoes were covered with goodness-knows-what. HAHAHAHAHA! That what they get! Nobody messes with Marik Ishtar!


	3. Neighbors less

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Marik, blah blah…Holy ****! I can't believe it! I forgot to write disclaimers for the other ones! Whoops…heh heh…^.^"

**December 29**

It's so quiet. The neighbors moved away. Called us barbaric. As if! I'll show them barbaric…Am currently amusing myself with puny, little cricket. What a pathetic creature! I let it think it's gonna escape, and then at the last second, I smoosh it! Haha. So much fun. Have now run out of crickets to smoosh. I guess I'll just try to make the world's largest paperclip chain. I've got one about 20 feet now. Took me 3 hours, I'm slow. I'M SO F***EN BORED!!! AAAAAAHH! I'M GONNA DIE! I need something to do! Ishizu's not home today. Nooooo. I can feel the life slowly creep out of me…it's freaky. I hate this place! I hate the world! I hate Ishizu! I hate myself! No wait, I don't. I hate this _diary_. Gross. I can't believe I'm even writing in this! This sentence will be the absolute last one I'll ever write again! Right after I say how stupid Ishizu looks in her new haircut. There! Now _this_ will be the last sentence, no exceptions!

**December 30**

Ugg, I can't believe what I said yesterday. I take back everything…that is, everything except the part about how Ishizu's new haircut looked stupid. Seriously, it does. It makes her look 10 times uglier than before, if _that's_ possible. I must've been real grouchy yesterday. Ah well. Still, no matter how grouchy I am, I'll always look beautiful. I mean, just look at my face. Can you find an equal? And is it even physically possible to have such a stunning figure? I don't think so…

**December 31**

Odion was sick this morning, so daddy made Ishizu take care of me. She had to go on some errands outside, so she took me along. I thought all I had to do was follow her to a fruit stall, and then I could go home, but NOO!!! After she was done shopping through, like, every single store in Egypt, she took me to watch a MOVIE that was rated R! I actually had to go IN with her, and I am still WAY too young. It was some crap about these two people who really liked each other, but their parents didn't. The ending was real funny though, cause they both died. Haha. LOSERS!!! I wonder why no one else was laughing. Oh well. People these days have _no_ sense of humor. Anyways, the rest of the movie was a waste of time. I could have finished reading The History of Torture. It's such a good book. I tried that form of torture on page 106 I read about yesterday on another cricket. It was SWEET! It's legs were still twitching and it was still alive feeling EVERYHTING! Mwahaha.

**~Later~**

The History of Torture is soooo long. I saved a cute little mouse from Mindslave. Stupid cat, can't he realize that I can use mice to freak out Ishizu? Hopefully she'll find it soon before is suffocates to death.

**January 1**

Ishizu found the snake. It was PRICELESS, unless you count the dozen smashed artifacts Ishizu hurled at me. The mouse chewed through one of her sandals. I feel sorry for the mouse. It's amazing it was still alive after it bit through something Ishizu put her stinky, fat feet in. Too bad Odion was asleep; he missed out on all the fun. When Ishizu caught up to me, yeah well, you can guess what happened…it still hurts, but WHO CARES?! Daddy was so pissed off at her for breaking his precious clay statue thing that she has to take out the trash for a MONTH! Gahaha, and the best part was, it was all MY FAULT!


	4. Daycare

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, Marik, Ishizu…*goes on forever*

Marik: *starts drumming fingers*

Lilmarik: What? Oh, it's you! Can I have a huggles? Please? *puppy eyes*

Marik: Uh…n-

Lilmarik: I'll take that as a yes! *squishes the life outta Little Marik*

Reader: OMG! YOU JUST KILLED THE MAIN CHARACTER!!!

Lilmarik: Um…no I didn't! *plastic smile, hides lifeless body behind back* Okay, back to the diary-thing…

**January 2**

Odion was still sick today, and…OH MY GOD, do you have _any_ idea WHERE my stupid sister sent me when she was off shopping again?! She sent me to…DAYCARE!!! It was sooo horrible. Everybody there was like…stupid three year olds that should get cold medicine, not to mention barf bags. And the teacher was an old, wrinkly bitch. She was really old and ugly, not as ugly as Ishizu of course…nothing's uglier than her. But anyways, her name was Ms. Norris, but I called her Mrs. Norris. I told her that it would be comical to call a Ms. because she looked about fifty-something. Then she got really pissed off at me and told me some shit that she was only thirty-something…yeah, like I would believe _that_. Then I had to go sit on a stupid plastic chair facing the stupid wall. I wonder why parents are actually willing to PAY for their children to be looked after by pathetic great-great-grandparents in cheap smelly rooms with stupid cheap plastic chairs. After a couple of hours, she let me go have snack, if you can call eating cardboard and toilet water a snack. I didn't eat it. I don't settle for cheap stuff. Ra knows what it would do to my figure. After that, she got mad at me for calling the daycare "cheap". So then, when I said that it was ran by perverted grandparents, she sent me to the office for "corrupting other students' minds". Well, they WERE perverts. She sent her assistant with me when I went to the bathroom!!! I mean, how am I supposed to GO when there's somebody else staring at me?! Eww…Well, at the office there was an even uglier and fatter person, and she was just the SECRETARY! I wonder what the principal looked like. But thank goodness ishizu finally came for me. That was probably the only time in my life I was happy to see her fat face.

**~Later~**

I'm stuck in my room now. I twisted my ankle when I fell down the zillion stairs leading to our house. That stupid *bleep*, she PUSHED me!!! The pain was _blinding_! No one was their to cushion my fall, and all of a sudden my face felt all stretchy and weird and I found myself about to hurl a paper weight at her fat head. But, I managed to stop myself with great difficulty, even though she was laughing really hard. My dad made me stay in my room until I was okay again, and said something about the Pharaoh, out family's future, and steak. Well, technically I'm ok now, but I won't come out. I don't have to do my chores that way…heehee. I'm going to wait till no one's paying attention, then I'm going to get my revenge…

*****

Haha, a really short one today. Used _a lot_ more "mild  language" than I planned. ^.^ So, what kind of revenge is Marik planning? You'll just have to wait and find out…Bwahaha, I'm so evil! Oh yeah, and thanks to everybody who reviewed my stories so far! I dedicate this chapter to YOU. Don't you feel so special?


	5. Revenge

Disclaimer: You all know the disclaimer already so I'm not gunna write it anymore. It's nice being lazy. :)

**January 3**

I did it! Yesterday, I emptied my ENTIRE jar of crickets in her underwear drawer!!! Her scream cost her $600, but to me, it was priceless! She screamed so loud that our neighbor's dumb Chihuahua died of STRESS!!! Bwahahahaha! Daddy was sooo pissed, he made Ishizu pay for the neighbor's NEW Chihuahua with her own money. And he wouldn't believe that _I_ did it, even when I left a jar clearly labeled "Marik's Crickets" in her drawer just to taunt her. I love my daddy!!! But then later on, Ishizu kicked me…HARD. It may hurt NOW, but it didn't hurt then because my stomach hurted even more from laughing so much. She's screaming at me now. I know she's trying to communicate to me, but all I can hear is "blah, blah, blah, blah." She's left now. Oh well. Whatever it was, I'm sure it wasn't important.

**January 4**

Ishizu had to go shopping _again_, but this time I REFUSED to follow because "my ankle still hurted." I spent practically my whole day annoying Odion. He's not half as fun as my crickets. I tried yelling at him and jumping on his bed, but all he did was push me off. So then I went and pulled Mindslave's tail. It was painful. Daddy told me to go do something useful, so I did. :) I completely destroyed Ishizu's room.

**January 5**

This may surprise you, but Ishizu wears…MAKEUP!!! And I thought she couldn't get any uglier…I would HATE to see her without any makeup on. I shiver at the very thought of it. Well, yesterday after I messed up her room, she threw one of her smelly sandals at me! There's STILL a gigantic huge, ugly gash on my face. I don't care if Odion and my daddy said that it was just a bruise. What do _they_ know? Ishizu has tainted my perfect skin. *sobs* But now I can't do anything because daddy says we are EVEN. I hate that word! But I am Marik Ishtar, and "even" doesn't mean anything to me.

**~Later~**

Ishizu did it. After dinner, she released all my crickets and hid my copy of The History of Torture! And if that wasn't enough, she stole my mirror! NOOOO!!! But no matter, I've taken her makeup hostage…she won't get it back till she returns my 23 crickets, The History of Torture, and my mirror. She's cussing at me through the door right now. LOSER!!! I think she's left now. Oh well. Right now, I'm deciding whether to hang her makeup or burn them at stake. Maybe I'll do both…For every day she delays the return of my belongings, I'll tell father more about what I find out about her. For example, yesterday I found one of those "dirty" magazines that father won't let her read under her bed. I took THAT hostage too!!! She is sooo dead, I'm so evil, life is fun.

*****

Okay, I'm outta ideas. Except for that haircutting one…THANKS SENSHICHAN14!!! *glomps her* Senshichan: Aaaaah! NOOOO!!! Let go!!!


	6. Back at Last

Disclaimer: See other chapters for disclaimer…BWAHAHA!!!

**January 6**

It's so boring now. My precious belongings have NOT been returned, and I spend each day trudging around in misery. Ishizu's makeup has been drowned, hung, burned, electrocuted, "put to sleep," slaughtered and processed through the glue factory, not to mention sent to the Shadow Realm. I've never been so long without my vanity mirror… WHAT IF THERE'S A ZIT ON MY FACE AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT?! No, the horror! I MUST get my crickets and other stuff back before I go insane! Maybe I already am… At least Ishizu isn't feeling any better. She's locked herself in her room. She's probably realized how ugly she is and that the world is better off without seeing her ugly face.

**~Later~**

I've just thought of the most ingenious plan! I'll lure Ishizu to the newly opened mall and then sneak into her room and get my stuff back. Why didn't I think of this before?! I'll go carry out my plan tomorrow, after I get my beauty rest…of course… 

**January 7**

IMPOSSIBLE!!! My plan didn't work! Who would've thought Ishizu booby-trapped her _whole_ room? I took one step and fell into a six foot hole. My butt still hurts. I couldn't climb out, so I had to wait for my dad to come rescue me. Odion was off somewhere he called Hawaii. Dunno where that is – probably someplace south of Egypt. Unfortunately, daddy fell into a hole too, so now we're both stuck. Good thing I brought my diary with me. Otherwise, I might've DIED from boredom, which would've been a terrible ting. The whole world would probably fall into depression from such a great loss. That would be fun to watch, but how can I watch if I was dead? Ah, the complexity of life…it hurts my brain.

**January 8**

Yay! She finally returned all my belongings!…but not before I told daddy about her "dirty" magazines. :) She's being "lectured" on why reading those magazines are bad and why she should never do it again. I bet she's not listening. She's probably thinking of the best ways to get revenge on me. Like _that'll_ work. I've got my dad on my side! I'm UNSTOPPABLE!!! MWAHAHA!!!

**~Later~**

That's it. She deserved it. Trashing MY room is NOT funny. The stupid liar told me the ice cream man was coming, and then while I ran outside, she messed up EVERYTHING! I hate her. Not that I didn't before, but I hate her more than ever now. It took me weeks to organize all my stuff by color, so I've decided to give her the ULTIMATE punishment. (A/N Here it comes, MalletWielderofDoom) I CUT HER HAIR WHILE SHE WAS ASLEEP! Bwahaha!!! I've sold her hair on Ebay. It's amazing what people are willing to pay for a bunch of greasy, split-ended hair. I don't think she's awake yet. I'm gonna have sooo much fun tomorrow!

**January 9**

Hmm…toddy wasn't as fun as I had predicted. But it was okay. Ishizu dislocated my shoulder and I had to get sent to the emergency room. They give free applesauce and coloring books there! ^.^ Everybody came in and brought cards and presents to cheer me up. Ishizu even had to come in and say sorry. Haha. It's fun being pitied because you get lots of free stuff. I should do this more often…

*****

I don't really know much about hospitals, but when I went there they gave me free coloring books…but then again I was only like, four years old so I don't remember much. I think the next chapter will be the last one. I'm spending all my time working on my other fanfic. I've got like ten chapters pretyped already, but I won't put them all up at once. I'm evil like that. XD If I get a lot of reviews, then I might change my mind and write more for this one. I seriously don't know. *runs and hides under bed*


	7. More Hospital Tales

Disclaimer: *angry parent tone* Now what did I tell you?

**January 10**

The doctor said that I will be out soon, due to my rapid recovery. Aw, man. I'll REALLY miss all the hospital food. Odion gave me the COOLEST get-well card! It sings when I open it! Only now, it doesn't sing anymore. I think it has a limit to how many times it can be opened. I bought Ishizu a wig. Haha. But she wears it. The sooner she gets married, the sooner she moves out. I shouldn't have mutilated her hair… Who would want a girl with a crew cut? Still…life won't be the same without Ishizu. Then again, who can stand her constant idiotic actions ad bespeakled face?

**January 11**

Today _was_ going to be my last day here. But I asked for way too much applesauce and got sick. On the plus side, I got two new crayons! One is light blue and the other one is forest green. What the heck is a forest? I don't know.  One of the nurses showed me a picture of the Amazon Rain Forest. I have never seen so many plants! I liked it so much that she let me keep the picture. And there's this huge rock with water running down the side! I wonder what THAT is… I also wonder what those little bits of orange in my barf are. I mean, all I ate was applesauce. It sorta looks like carrots, but I've never eaten carrots. Whenever Ishizu cooks, I always feed the vegetables to my dear, beloved crickets.

*****

Since this is a short chapter, I've convinced myself to write another one, which will most likely be the last one. But you never know. I am afflicted with indecision. I might suddenly go and write fifty chapters. ^_^ Also, don't come writing to me saying that barf isn't orange. It IS. Have you ever looked closely at it? It's ALWAYS orange. Which is weird. I don't eat carrots a lot. Heck, I eat a vegetable once a month. ___


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